The Quest for you'll see
by Sushinase
Summary: OHH! A little insane story of mine! Hope you enjoy it.. it contains Harry Potter and a task that needs to be fullfilled! FINISHED
1. 1 for I still haven't got a name yet

**My insane Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) Potter story**

It was just one of those ordinary days in the 22 year old's life. Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) Potter was walking down the street and singing one of his favourite songs: "Whooooooooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS" and so on. He was totally into Spongebob Squarepants and he knew it. Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)'s greatest wish was, after buying a whole bunch of green shoes, to meet his hero Spongebob, for this guy was soooo cool. 

Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie), however, didn't know how to hex himself into the cartoonworld and went to the flat of his intelligent, suddenly turned devastatingly beautiful and funny friend Hermione Malfoy. She had married the boy she had hated until fifth grade in which he turned out to be only a little innocent boy, who was threatened to act all goofy because of his lunatic and sadistic father. Anyway, Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) made his way to the flat and knocked on the door. But not an ordinary knock it was, it was: "Knoooooooooooock klives kinck kack kpineappleck kunderck ktheck kseack? KSPONGEBOBCK KSQUAREPANTSCK!".

A loud moaning was heard out of the flat and then, after some time hearing things Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) never wanted to hear, Hermione opened the door. Her hair was ruffled and she wasn't exactly wearing very much. Draco ::THUNDER:: came up behind her, only a towel wrapped around his hips. Standing behind Hermione he started nibbling her ear. "Hi Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie).." Hermione began but then moaned loudly when Draco ::THUNDER:: started planting butterflykisses down her shoulders. Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) looked at her irritatedly. "Thank you for that mental image, I think I'll come back later and.. let you fnish what you errr.. started!" he turned around and was about to dash down the road redheaded, when he felt a tight grip on his arm. "Harry (may helive long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie), whatever you came for, it better be important! Or else I'll rip your head off, .. anyway..., Draco ::THUNDER:: stop it.. take your hands from my hips! Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie), now you've interrupted us anyway, so it doesn't matter.. COME THE HELL IN!" she cried and if she had stopped there, Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) would have really come in, however, she didn't. "Oh.. Draco ::THUNDER::.. stop.. stop.. ahhh.. noo.. oooh.. uhh.. OH! DRACO ::THUNDER::!". Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) turned on his heel and dashed down the road. 

Panting he ran around a corner and stopped there, taking in high amounts of air. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and pondered over what to do next. Hermione who had obviously turned into a sexmonster wasn't able to help him. Fatass Ron was probably trying to go through a door without getting stuck with his fat ass, Dumbledore was off, trying to seduce Minerva McGonagall who was running away from Dumbledore. Sirius.. yeah.. where was Sirius? Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) thought. Maybe I'll write a letter to him. But then he remembered Hedwig (may she rest in peace) had been eaten by Crookshanks (may he rest in piss) and he hadn't bought a new owl yet, so Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) forgot the idea quickly. "Maybe I'll go to Snape. Probably he knows a solution for my problem". 

So Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) ran to the other end of the city he was in, instead of using his wand and apparating. Panting heavily once more he knocked on Snape's door. However not without remembering to knock his special Spongebob knock. The door opened a crack and out of the dark came a misty voice. "Come in.. come in.. I've been waiting for you.. finally you've come..".

Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) was all afraid but opened the door nevertheless..

AN: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! I LIKED WRITING THIS! REVIEW!!  
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING OR DO I LOOK AS IF I DID? 


	2. 2 Still no name

**My insane Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) Potter story**

Last time:

"Come in.. come in.. I've been waiting for you.. finally you've come..". Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) was all afraid but opened the door nevertheless..

"WELCOME TO BUNNY LAND!" Snape cried jumping up and down on his couch in a pink tutu. "THE PIZZA SERVICE HAS COME FINALLY! SIRIUS! REMUS! COOOOME! THE PIZZA IS HERE!" and in dashed a green tutu wearing Sirius and a blue tutu wearing Remus. 

Loudly Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) gaped for air. He wished he had never come into this house. However, he knew now where Sirius was! "Umm.. professor I'm not the Pizza Service-" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) began but was cut off by Snape who started weeping and crying loudly. "Now? See what you have done? Are you happy?" Sirius snapped iratedly at Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) while Remus was comforting poor Severus. "Well, I only wanted to-" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) began once more but then Sirius started crying too and Remus had a lot to do, considering he had to calm down to grown up men. "Remus,.. are they high?" – "WHAT? NO! WE HAVEN'T SMOKED POT! OR GRAS! NEVER! AND- OHHHH LOOK IT ALL THE PURDY COLORS!". Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) shook his head. He wouldn't get help here. After grabbing one of the joints that was rolling on the floor Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) stalked out again. 

He thrust his fists into the air, yelling loudly: "WILL I EVER GET HELP? WILL I EVER FULFILL MY TASK?" and waited. Suddenly the clouds in the sky began to swirl and suddenly a head popped out of the clouds. "Oh Lord! You've heard me! Will you help me?" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) asked hopefully throwing himself onto the ground like he had seen Graham Chapman do in Monty Python's 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'. "What? Lord? I'm not your Lord! I'm J from the Men In Black and I wanted to know if you have seen an Alien running around devouring men?" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)'s eyes nearly popped out. He was really talking to J from MIB! Wow! Shivers ran up and down Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)'s spine and he nearly fainted. However, he didn't (to our pity) and was able to stutter: "Um,.. NO SIR J SIR!" - "Good,.. and now look closely into this little object.." – "OH LOOK! AN OOMPA LOOMPA!" – "Huh? What where?" J said and turned around to where Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) had pointed his finger at, seeing nothing. However, when J turned around again he only found a note lying on the floor. Picking it up he cursed loudly. The sheet of paper said: "HAHAHA! I KNOW YOUR TRICKS SUCKER! TOO LATE! WHAT A PITY YOU DIDN'T KNOW ME!"

Panting heavily once again Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) stopped behind a tree and waited for some time until he sensed J was gone. "Great! First I interrupt Hermione and Draco ::THUNDER:: making love, then I want to see Snape, who, unfortunately is on drugs and then I nearly get my memory blown away because of some stupid MIB! THANK YOU WHOEVER BRINGS ME INTO THESE STUPID SITUATIONS!" he cried out and started digging a hole into the earth he was sitting on. 

"Maybe," he thought, "when I dig a hole into the earth and go through the hole I'll land in Spongebob's world!" he dug and dug and dug. But then landed in China. "SHIT" he cursed loudly and wandered through his hole once more. Again he came out in China. "SHIT I'M DOOMED!" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) cursed once more. "WHAT CAN I DO?". He didn't know how to help himself and so went to the only one who could. Panting loudly he arrived at the one's house and knocked his Spongebob knock. 

AN: Have you ever realised that, it doesn't matter where, the other end of the world is always china? "OH, I'm in Amerika, the other end of the world is China!"   
"OH, I'm in Australia, the other end of the world is China!"  
"OH, I'm in Germany, the other end of the world is China!"  
"OH, I'm in Duckburgh, the other end of the world is China!"  
"OH, I'm in Japan, the other end of the world is China!"  
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NADDA! 


	3. 3 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the Quest for the r...

**

My insane Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) Potter story

**

Last time:  
Panting loudly he arrived at the one's house and knocked his Spongebob knock.

..Slowly the door opened.. and he was standing in front of JOHN CLEESE! "Oops, I'm sorry!" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) shrieked when he saw Nick the ghost and ran away.

Panting heavily he arrived at the right house and knocked once more his famous Spongebob knock. "Oh come in my dear! How can I help you?" the one cried happily and opened the door wider. "Well.. I've got a problem and I wanted to know if you could help me." – "Of course! I'd do everything for you!" – "Well, I want to go into Spongebob Squarepants' world.." – "Ohh.. you want to leave me?" – "Well, we are not exactly together you know.." – "Okay.. I understand.. I'm just something quick.. something meaningless.. YOU WILL GO TO HELL FOR THAT!" The one yelled angrilly stomping onto the ground loudly. "Oh.. sure, will you come with me?" Harry asked, shrugging carelessly. Angrily the one cried: "WELL MISTER! I've got news for you! I HATE YOU!" the spoon yelled running away crying loudly. Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) stood in the doorframe gasping loudly. Then, infuriatedly he yelled. "WELL! DON'T WORRY! THE FEELING'S RETURNED!" but then he collapsed onto the floor, crying heavily. His beloved spoon had left him.. how could he have been so stupid? But now wasn't the time to let emotions overcome him. He had a task that needed to be fullfilled. So he went on around the world, looking for someone who may be able to help him. 

First he visited the graveyards of his parents (AN: Did you ever realise his parents didn't have a graveyard? Only Voldie's dad has got one..) and cried his little green eyes a puffy red. Then he wiped his tears away with leaves, however, the leaves were toxic, which left him much with a facestyle of an Alien. (AN: Ever seen Malcolm in the Middle? Awww..) Suddenly J returned and wanted to take Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) with him, for he thought Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) was the Alien that devoured men. Suddenly, however, the real Alien that devoured men appeared behind Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) and, yelling loudly something that sounded like "HOW CAN YOU THINK HE IS THE ALIEN THAT DEVOURS MEN? I'M THE ONLY ALIEN HERE THAT DEVOURS MEN! HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO THAT LITTLE PIPSQUEAK?" and devoured J. Then the Alien that devoured men thanked Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) who looked like an alien that devoured men and ran away, cheering loudly. 

Then Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) went on, after the toxic reaction lessened and he looked like before. He visited Lockhart at Saint Mungo's and told him about his quest. Lockhart became especially happy whenever Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) mentioned the name of Spongebob Squarepants. So the conversation went on like this. "And you see, when I visited Hermione and Draco ::THUNDER:: to tell her about my Spongebob Squarepants proble-" – "OH YES SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" – "Well, yes what I wanted to say, my Spongebob Squarepants probl-" – "YAY! LET'S CHEER FOR SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" and up Lockhart jumped from his bed and started making a little insane victory dance. Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) was thrown out of Saint Mungo's for disturbing one of their most complicated patients.

Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) didn't know how, but suddenly he found himself in Africa passing a gigantic tree. Inside lived four wise monkeys who could talk, so Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) went inside and greeted them. The first monkey spoke: "Hello, I'm the blue monkey and my name is 'Cupboard'. There sits my green monkey brother 'Table' and my pink monkey sister 'Chair' and my orange monkey sister 'Spoon'. What can we do for you stranger?" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) opened his mouth and words came out flowing. "Dear Mister Cupboard Sir! I wanted to know if you knew how I could visit Spongebob Squarepants!" The monkeys shrieked loudly and eeping the rushed into a corner. Holding a conference they discussed wether to help Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) or not. Finally they came back. "Dear Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie). We cannot tell you how you can visit him, but how he can visit you. The only thing you have to do is.."

AN: YAY! ANOTHER CHAPTER DONE! I LOVE MY MONKEYS!  
DISCLAIMER: NADDA NADDA NADDA! GOT THE WRONG GALL! 


	4. I still haven't got a name DRAT

**My insane Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) Potter story**

Last time:  
Finally they came back. "Dear Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) . We cannot tell you how you can visit him, but how he can visit you. The only thing you have to do is.."

It was one of those completely normal afternoons in the 23 year old's life. Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) Potter was walking down the street singing: "WHOOOOOOOO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?" – "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" cried Spongebob Squarepants. 

"Oh Spongebob," Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) confessed, "I'm so happy to be with you! I never liked the Sexmonster Hermione or Fatass Ron! Finally we are friends and you are real!" – "Yeah, I'm happy too!" Spongebob Squarepants said with his totally annoying voice. 

"Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie).. look! There's Qoo!!" and Spongebob ran over to his new blue friend. They hugged happily and Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) stared at them jelaously but then joined them jumping up and down. Suddenyl Hello Kitty came around the corner of Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)'s house. "HARRY (MAY HE LIVE LONG, CONSIDERING HIS POOR CHILDHOOD AND ALL THE HORRIBLE TIMES HE ESCAPED BADASS VOLDIE)" Kitty cried "HARRY (MAY HE LIVE LONG, CONSIDERING HIS POOR CHILDHOOD AND ALL THE HORRIBLE TIMES HE ESCAPED BADASS VOLDIE)! PIKACHU HAS DONE IT AGAIN!" – "Noooo.." Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) groaned loudly and dashed into the garden behind his house yelling "PIKACHU! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!". 

There in the middle of the lawn lay a biiiiiiiiiig mountain of soft toys. Pikachu was standing on the tip of the mountain and waving around with Harrry's wand yelling "PIKA PIKAAAACHU BISASAM!". A flashy light came out of the tip of the wand and swarmed over to a Bisasam Soft toy. Startled the Soft toy jumped up and realized it was alive. "BISA BISASAAAAM". "PIKACHU!" Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) yelled. "Come down now!" he ordered but Pikachu merely smirked a Draco ::THUNDER:: smirk and jumped onto Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)'s broom, waving good-bye with Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)'s wand. "NOOO PIKACHU! YOU CANNOT DO THIS! YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THEM!" – "BEEEWAHAHAHA PIKACHU!" was all Pikachu yelled.

Suddenly Tigger, Piglet and Winnie the Pooh came around the corner and jumped onto Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie), who fell onto the ground startled. Slowly all the soft toys started marching towards Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)'s figure on the floor who whimpered very very high. However, Spongebob rescued him. 

"FRIENDS!" Spongebob yelled "Be thankfull to Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) that he made us all live! He gave us live! Why do you want to kill him?" – "He chewed me once he was sleeping!" Hello Kitty yelled while she was dancing with Veemon in a corner of the garden. "Yeah! And once, when he was angry because Hermione didn't like him, he punched me!" Piglet cried loudly. 

"But friends! He's not perfect! He's just Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie)!" Spongebob said loudly and earned much approval. The mass clapped wildly and cheered. "Thanks Geewiz.." Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) muttered, lying under the mountain of soft toys. "Shht.." Spongebob whispered. "I'll get you out of this one" turning to the mass he announced "Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) is the one who gave us our live. With the tip of his wand he aspirated a soul in our bodies. It doesn't matter what he did wrong.. what he did for us is much more important! I ask you: WILL YOU CHEER HIM UP WITH ME OR AT LEAST LET HIM LIVE?" a loud muttering was heard under the crowd of living soft toys. "Yeah.. I think we will.." Squirtle said. Many cheers followed Squirtle and after some more cheering they freed Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) of the other soft toys. 

"Thank you Spongebob" He muttered and went into his house, only taking Spongebob with him. "Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) , will you tell me the story again about how you made me live?" – "Oh.. that's a long story. See, the four wise monkeys told me what to do.. and so.." – "Yeah, but what _did_ they tell you to do?" – "Umm... well, they said I should make one of my Spongebob Squarepants soft toys alive. And so after they told me I dashed home, grabbed one of my Spongebob Squarepants soft toys and hexed him alive.. and that's how you were born!" – "Oh HARRY (MAY HE LIVE LONG, CONSIDERING HIS POOR CHILDHOOD AND ALL THE HORRIBLE TIMES HE ESCAPED BADASS VOLDIE) ! THAT WAS SUCH A NICE THING OF YOU TO DO!" – "Yeah.. wasn't it? However, I also made my other soft toys live.. and that wasn't the most intelligent thing to do.. but.. oh well.. at least I've got you!"

AN: That's it folks! That's just a meaningless little insane Harry (may he live long, considering his poor childhood and all the horrible times he escaped badass Voldie) Potter story.. totally insane. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and laughed a lot! You know, that was just a quickie.. quick and meaningless.   
Spoon: "OH? I'm meaningless? WELL! I HATE YOU!"  
Me: Well, don't worry, the feeling's mutual..   
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NADDA! NOTHING! NICHTS! 


End file.
